I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And then my night got REAL pukey
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I could fuck to npr.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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