Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
