Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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