on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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