what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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