Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
