the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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