i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can I color on your dick again?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
