The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
