my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
