32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
