He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize