Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
