She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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