I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
