she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
