You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
