i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
