Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
