lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
