so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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