It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
