she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have feelings that need drinking.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
