seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
