oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
