Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
