so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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