u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
