If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she smelled like a LAN party
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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