I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
