why didn't you poke me back
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
