I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize