i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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