She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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