i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
