Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize