i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
