This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
even my farts smell like vagina
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your penis caused this!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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