So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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