i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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