dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
