it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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