I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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