yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
