I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
