piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
