I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
