"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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