doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
