She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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