Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
