this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
