Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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