So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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