My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
