is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
