Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Randomize
