i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
