capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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