This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
