The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
