how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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