Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
