You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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