Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
