Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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