Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
